How emotional reactions lead you to heaven or hell - The Samurai and the Monk story

The story quoted in “Emotional Intelligence” by Goleman illustrates how emotions -- and our choices on how to express them -- leads to happiness or misery:

A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. But the monk replied with scorn, “you are nothing but a lout – I can’t waste my time with the likes of you.” His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage, and pulling his sword from its scabbard yelled, “I could kill you for your impertinence!” “That,” the monk calmly replied, “is hell.”

Startled at seeing the truth that the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword and bowed, and thanked the monk for his insight. “And that,” said the monk, “is heaven.”

I've loved sharing this with clients from time to time when they feel they can't control their emotions, or there is nothing they can do to improve an outcome. This old Japanese tale helps us see that we have a choice, and that choice really does impact how we walk away from a situation for the better or for the worse.

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