Rules for surviving public school

My fifth-grade son has had some trouble in school lately. He doesn't seem to understand some of the hidden rules of school (you know, the ones nobody tells you, but we all had to figure out on our own). After a couple of hard weeks, it became apparent to me that he needed to have the following explained to him:

1. Don't do your best (that is, when your best is too amazing). Sometimes your absolute best creative story will take you four times as long as everybody else and exceed the requirements of the assignment (this is my son's problem). In this case, simply compromise and do an "adequate" job... not your best. Your best will only get you in trouble for taking too long, and you will be exhausted from the effort.

2. Pretend to love your assignments. If you are given a boring topic to write about, don't let your teacher know what you think. Temporarily act as if it is the most exciting concept in the world! Gush (tactfully in your writing about what an interesting character in history this person is, and how much he/she has impacted the world (even if you don't care to have ever read a word about the person).

3. Make yourself look good. Protect your image. The teacher needs to feel that you are a hard-working student. Her good feelings about herself are on the line here. Ask questions to clarify what she wants and give her exactly what she asks, (even if you don't like it) because in doing so, it makes her like you. When she looks at you, make sure you are working hard! Smile a shiny smile, aimed in her direction. Of course, you are a good student anyway, but just make sure your teacher sees it. This is crucial for success now... on up through graduate school and beyond. Your superiors always need to feel good about you so that they can pass along their good feelings in their subjective assessments.

It goes without saying that students really do need to work hard, be honest, etc., but I do believe these "hidden" rules are crucial for success in school as well.